Field Identification of Birds:
Notes on the Hoodwink (_Dissimulatrix spuria_)

After conversations with many bird-lovers, glances at my own
ornithological notebooks and perusal of articles in ornithological
journals, I am impressed by the number of records of birds partially
seen or indeterminately heard: and it seems evident that the majority
of these records are attributable to a single species-the Hoodwink-
which I propose to name _Dissimulatrix spuria_.

The existence of this species has already been recognised by
several authors, amongst them James Thurber, who has presented a
somewhat imaginative picture of the bird perched upon a spray of
Ragamuffin. Gaetke, on Heligoland, shot several specimens of the
Hoodwink, which invariably fell over steep cliffs into the sea and
'were not secured.' Observers in tropical forests are familiar with
the Hoodwink, which invariably keeps to the densest vegetation
(where it is extremely vociferous), and refuses to be lured into the
open by the observer's imitation of a Black Mamba. The Hoodwink
has several times been photographed: it is the brown blur that passes
rapidly from right to left in all ornithological films. In many records
of bird song, also, the Hoodwink can be heard in the background,
imitating the barking of dogs, the hooting of automobiles, the
pleasant drone of the farm tractor, etc. The Hoodwink was known
to the Ancients: unsatisfactory views of the Hoodwink, before the
invention of the telescope, led to unreliable early records of the
Phoenix, Roc, Harpy, Hippogriff, Barnacle Goose, etc. Nor has the
Hoodwink been neglected in literature: it is clear to the experienced
observer that both Keats and Shelley wrote Odes to the Hoodwink.
The bird has also a definite place in British folklore; in parts of East
Anglia it is, to this day, considered lucky to drink a gallon of beer
both before and after first hearing the Hoodwink in sping.

A peculiarity of the Hoodwink is that it is more frequently
observed by beginners in ornithology than by more practised observers.
Yet records by practised observers exist. In a recent number of the
_Ibis_ a well-known ornithologist, in order to demonstrate the fatuity
of 'sight records,' related how he had seen a Common Buzzard
identified by a German zoologist as a White-tailed Eagle. Now,
according to evidence at hand, there is no presumption that it
was a buzzard rather than an eagle. Surely a third hypothesis is
possible-that it was a Hoodwink. And readers of ornithological
literature in the 1930s will remember the case of the Hoodwink on
one of the London reservoirs which imitated now the Great Northern
Diver now the Black-throated.

Only one record of a ringed Hoodwink exists: on being ringed,
at Tooting Bec, it was entered in the schedule by the Misses
Motmot and Tody as 'Little Tom Tit' and was subsequently recorded
as 'Blue Tit, imm.' On being retrapped, it was thought by Miss
Eleanora Falcon (of Woking), after reference to the _Handbook_,
to be a Lanceolated Warbler. It was later found dead, in an
advanced state of decomposition, and identified by Mrs. Snow-Bunting,
also of Tooting, as her Budgerigar _Melopsittacus undulatus_, Percy.

Below is listed what information has so far been obtained relating
to the bird:-

The Hoodwink-_Dissimulatrix spuria_ spec. nov. (Restricted
typical locality, 'Mon Repos,' Waterloo Boulevard, Bournemouth.)

_Habitat_.-Catholic, with marked preference for suburban bird-
tables. Frequently haunts cliffs, tropical forests, beds of ragamuffin
(Thurber) and other places where quick dash to cover is possible. In
Southern France in winter often found in loose association with other
Hoodwinks.

_Field Characters and General Habits_.-Generally recognisable by
_blurred appearance_ and extremely rapid flight away from observer.
Polymorphous and strongly imitative: when imitating another species
closely similar to an allied species, will tend to imitate the rarer, i.e.
Greenish rather than Willow Warbler, Collared rather than Pied
Flycatcher, Blue-spotted Whitethroat rather than White-spotted Blue
throat, etc. _Usually solitary_: but Miss Florence Pratincole records
_a flock of Hoodwinks_, seen many years ago near childhood home at
Budleigh Salterton: Col. Trumpeter-Swan, uncle of observer, who
had lived many years in India, insisted categorically that they were
Hoodwinks. Most information on field characters obtained from bird-
tables by Committee of Suburban Bird-lovers: 'a brownish silent bird,
which jumped up and down all the time' (Miss Ruby Godwit, Murray-
field). 'I could not see whether it was as big as a thrush, but it
seemed to fancy cold porridge' (Miss Betsy Phalarope, Auchen
shuggle). 'About the size of a piece of wood' (Mrs. Carolina Craik,
Epping). P. B. Shelley's observation that Hoodwink resembles 'poet
hidden in the light of thought' not confirmed by later observers.
Ordinary gait a rapid scuffle: in breeding season 'a stealthy walk'
(Turstone, _Fun in Birdland_). On water dives readily: average of
373 dives approx. 30 minutes-in each case the observer went home
to tea before the Hoodwink had arisen to the surface. Apparently
roosts among rows of bottles _in bitternlike posture_.

_Voice_.-Usual call a shrill, slightly sibilant, 'pee-pee-wee,' perhaps
the same as that rendered by Slobeend as 'wee-pee-pee.' Also utters
'a long-drawn wheezing sigh' (Wigeon _in litt._), perhaps identical with
the 'protracted sighing wheeze' described by R. C. Pochard. Call
resembling the creaking of an unoiled hinge, formerly supposed to be
uttered by Hoodwinks, now shown to be made by the creaking of
an unoiled hinge. Also highly imitative, e.g. of Redwing, a sound
commonly produced on October evenings, when ornithologists are
listening for Redwings. In February and early March utters a loud,
ringing 'cuckoo' (Daily Press, _passim_). _Song Period_.-Prolonged
research involving rising at dawn, stop-watches and B.Sc. degrees
have conclusively shown that the Hoodwink does not sing all the day
long; sometimes it sings, sometimes it is silent. It has been
suggested that Scottish Hoodwinks, on physiological grounds, should
be separated as _D. s. annielaurieae_ on account of prolonged singing
on 31 December-described by McSporran as 'supersong.' The
Scottish form does not, apparently, sing on Sundays (_v_ histrogram in
possession of Ecclefechan Burns Club).

_Display and Posturing_.-In breeding season male flies round in
ever-decreasing circles, evoking no response whatsoever from female.
Also indulges in 'false preening,' 'false sleeping,' 'false waking,'[1]
'false eating,' 'false drinking,' 'false singing' and 'false dancing';
and, in the case of the female, a rapid movement of the toes deno-
minated by Steinwaelzer 'false knitting' (_pseudotricotage_). 'Distrac-
tion display' takes the form of 'rodent-running'-only backwards:
this causes female observers to run away, screaming (see Y. B.
Sapsucker, The Distraction Display of the Female Ornithoscoper).

_Breeding_.-Details little known, but undoubtedly sometimes re-
produces by _binary fission_; many reliable ornithologists, watching the
Hoodwink, have seen it split into two halves and fly away in opposite
directions. _Nest_.-Usually old mares' nest; eggs also laid at random,
e.g. in egg-cups. Apparently responsible for the construction of _old
nests_, involving young oologists in climbing _very high trees_ or _very
steep cliffs_: these nests often found to contain old baked-bean tins.
_Eggs_.-Served in British hotels-recognisable by glycerine-like con-
sistency and frequent presence of embryo. Also possibly in Egypt,
where eggs described as tasting 'as if laid by mummy' (Lord Edward
Cecil). _Clutch-size_.-Unknown, but, on approach of ornithologist,
Hoodwink usually lays more eggs, or removes those already laid.

_Food_.-Analysis of stomach reveals 80 per cent vegetable
food (pipe-cleaners and breakfast cereals [2]), but has been seen to pursue
and kill male Nitwit. Also recorded, shoots and seeds of _Lex non-
scripta_, _Copia verborum_, _Lapsus calami_ and _Insania amabilis_.
McSporran considers that haggises are the pellets of the Hoodwink.

_Distribution_.-British Isles.-Sporadic: number of records depends
more on character of observer than on frequency of species. Miss
Fanny Pine-Grosbeak (Chorlton-cum-Hardy) has more than 322
records. Miss Euphemia Wryneck accurately refers to the status of
the Hoodwink in Birmingham as 'pretty casual.' Interesting popula-
tion studies of the Hoodwink have been made, using 'transects' taken
from railway trains and nocturnal counts from lighthouses (Goosander
and Smew, _Zeitschrift fur mittelrutlandische Ornithologie, Vol.
CCLI).

_Migration_.-Apparently aimless movements. British Hoodwinks
move in a rough circle involving Fair Isle, the Isle of May, Holy Island,
Spurn Point, Cley-next-the-Sea (Norfolk), the Norfolk Broads, Romney
Marsh, the London Reservoirs, the Severn Estuary, Skokholm and
the breeding quarters of the Kite (a Welsh village called Hush)-with
occasional trips to the Camargue.

_Distribution abroad_.-Almost ubiquitous; coinciding remarkably
with the distribution of the Fervent Ornithoscoper _Ornithoscopa per-
fervens_, on which it is partially parasitic.

_Description_.-Little known, although in the opinion of Elliott (_in
oratione recta_) is not infrequent in museum collections, many skins
becoming 'hoodwinked.' Brown speculum characteristic of third
year female, though this is often obscured. General plumage, buffish
fawn shading to fawnish buff. _Soft parts_ (i.e. hard parts): fawnish
horn shading to hornish fawn.

_Characters and allied forms_.-Immediately recognisable by the fact
that the true basipterygoid processes are absent, but more anteriorly
the basisphenoid rostrum bears a pair of facets projecting only slightly
beyond its general surface, the so-called secondary basipterygoid pro-
cesses, with which the anterior ends of the pterygoids articulate.
Represented in Arctic snowstorms by _D. s. spurissima_ (the so-called
Pomatorhine Hoodwink), characterised by its more woolly appearance.
_D. s. sarah-janae_ (O. Hebrides), _D. s. mrs-jonesae_ (Mull) and _D. s.
gretae-garbo_ (Clerkenwell) are doubtfully separable [3]. Bones of
a closely related genus, _Palaeodissimulatrix_, have been found in
kitchen middens.


15, Ox Lane,
Harpenden, Herts, M. F. A. Meiklejohn
England.

Bibliography
Nutcracker, Maj-Gen. S. B.: 'In Darkest Corstorphine, or How I Shot the
Hoodwink,' 1873.
A Lady of Quality: 'Pongo, My Hoodwink,' 1884.
De Pip-Rousseline: 'La Vie Passionnelle du Houdvinque,' 1902.
Professor Rohrdrommel: 'Hudwinckismus und seine Vogeltafelnverhaltnisse,'
1912.
Millicent Stonechat, B.Sc.: 'Individual Distance of Hoodwink _Dissimulatrix
spuria_ and its apparent breakdown in the breeding season,' 1950.

---------------
1. A form of distraction display also recorded among university students.
2. McSporran considers breakfast cereals to be _minerals_.
3. This has not prevented the author of these names, in a laudable desire to
immortalize various respectable females, from attempting to separate them until
they have become extinct. This process has been termed 'going into a cline.'

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The preceding article is reproduced from the 'Journal of the Bombay
Natural History Society' 49(3): 557-560 [1950]. It originally appeared
in 'Bird Notes' 24(3) [1950]. I apologise in advance to any and all
Birdchatters who might consider this a frivolous waste of bandwidth:
you are quite possibly correct! - Priyantha Wijesinghe <vhwbc at cunyvm.cuny.edu>