I've finally caught on to a huge practical joke that's being played on all
the birders in the Tweeters area by someone--probably a conspiracy of
several people. I think it's time for the conspirators to come clean,
identify themselves, and let us all have a good laugh. Admit it now: All
the reports of Emperor Goose in the Pacific Northwest are just fakes,
aren't they? I have evidence! About a year ago, I was on Sauvie Island
watching gulls when an Emperor Goose was reported; I looked at thousands
of geese, but no Emperor. Last year, one was reported south of Everett,
but when I went to look, do think it was there? No-o-o-o! In the fall, I
went down the Oregon coast, hoping to see the two Emperors reported in
Netarts Bay. (Is the plural of EMGO EMGE?) Hundreds of Brant, but no
Emperor! Today I had to get away from the computer, so I drove up to
Sequim, confident I would finally see the goose that's been reported on
Graveyard Spit. Again, I scanned hundreds of Brant, but no Emperor! (I
just noticed that today's RBA says that it was seen there through Feb
29th. Aha! Caught you! A real report wouldn't have had a phony date on
it.) (BTW, although I did not see any unusual birds at Sequim, I did see
several sequirrels and had some tasty sequid for lunch.) An Emperor was
reported during the fall in the Vancouver, B.C. area, but after a few days
they reported that it had been injured and was in the bird hospital.
Yeah, you bet! Good thing I didn't waste time twitching that one!

Okay, guys, whoever you are, I think it's time to end this little charade
so we can all get on with our lives. I didn't think birders went in for
this kind of joke. I thought birders were kind, honest, and rather sober.
But if that's the way you want to play the game, . . . have I ever told
you about the Magnificent Hummingbird that's been visiting my feeders for
several years?


Burt Guttman guttmanb at elwha.evergreen.edu
The Evergreen State College Voice: 360-866-6000, x. 6755
Olympia, WA 98505 FAX: 360-866-6794