Just to ensure that the following is "on topic", it seems to me that there
are some endemic birds of Hawaii that could use some consonants before
hard-earned dollars are spent on Bosnian vowels. Try the Ou, the Ooaa, the
Elepaio and the Iiwi, for example.

Enjoy,

Bryan Gates, Victroia bgates at assessment.env.gov.bc.ca
____

CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients


Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton

announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of

Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will

provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is

hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.



"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and

Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton

said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It

is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their

incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble

endeavour."



The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is

set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and

Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each

carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force

Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.



Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.



"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44,

said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is

understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor,

wretched family just one 'E.' Please."



Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I

could be George Humphries. This is my dream."



The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign

country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000

consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao

with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.