Tweets--

Here's a something to liven up your rainy day...

Tom

There was a biology student who was studying equilibrium in sea birds. He
proposed that giving measured doses of various hallucinogenic substances
and observing their flight patterns would give some insight to the problems
of equilibrium in three dimensional space. This tale taking place in a more
liberal era, the student got the funding. He filled out mountains of forms,
set up a lab with a supply of sea birds, and proceeded on his way. After
a year of diligent work, groveling monthly before the review commitee to
get his stipend, and living with stoned sea birds, he completed his study.

With trembling hands, he delivered his 247 page report, complete with charts
and graphs, to the review commitee. This august body peruses his study,
asking penetrating questions and reducing our student to jello. Finally,
the department head rises. The light reflects off her steel rimmed glasses
as she stares down at our student.

"There is a lot of good work here," she says. "But we can't accept this
report. You have detailed marvelously the effects of all these substances
on these sea birds, but you have no control group."

Our student turns pale and says, "You don't mean..."

"Yes. I'm afraid so. You left no tern unstoned."