Hi Tweets,

Jerry Converse writes:

>According to a recent study by Proffesor Farfignewton. and I quote--"Ve
>haave fauund dat seence daa Side-hill Gouger Daas haave shorter legs uun
>von side ,eet cann't go baack undt forth. Eet eitther goss baack or
>forth." It is my unlearned opinion that we have two distinct species.
>The Back Side-hill Gouger and the Forth Side-hill Gouger. And that's
>the truth!!

With all *due* respect and deference to your Prof. Farfignewton (*where* did
you say he took his degree? Hm; pity), Jerry, allow me to tell you of a more
recent paper by Herr Doktor Helmut von Fenderbender (Das Gougen der Slopen
in Der Bearen Uber den Alpen, 1989) extending the work of Martin (Bears over
the Mountains: an altitudinal survey; with supplementary remarks on the
Side-hill Gouger, a little-known species from the Great Basin, 1961) and
Leopold von Fonebone's fine article in the July 1964 National Geographic,
The Side-hill Gouger, Cattle's Friend or Foe? shows unequivocally that there
is only *one* species of Side-hill Gouger, but that the direction
taken--whether back or forth, or, as von Fenderbender points out in the
interests of greater accuracy, left and right--is gender-, not
species-characteristic. He demonstrates beyond Professor F.'s quibbles and
nitpicking that the tracks on the trails show the females are always right
and the males always left in the dust in a way dependent on the relationship
between current popularity of Earth's geomagnetism and the way that water
drains out of a bathtub.

Michael Price We aren't flying...we're falling with style!
Vancouver BC Canada -Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story
mprice at mindlink.net