Dear Tweeters,

When I first started birding, I was intrigued by a
pamphlet put out by a Cooperative Extension Board in
my native New York. The pamphlet described how one
could make a birdfeeder shaped like a human being.

The theory was that the birds would get used to the
man-shaped feeder, and then the clever human could
take away the feeder, put on the same old clothes in
which the dummy had been clad, and fool the birds into
alighting upon one's arms, head, and so on.

Thinking I would try it, I first made a scarecrow out
of wood. Actually, it was more of an attract-chickadee
than a scare-crow. I dressed it in a pair of my old
blue jeans, an old orange tee-shirt, and a beat-up old
blue stocking cap. On the ends of the mannaquin's
outstretched arms, I placed the tops from some old
spray-paint cans. I filled these plastic tops with
bird seed. I also covered the mannaquin with seed, and
dumped liberal amounts on the ground near it.

In the days and weeks that followed, birds began to
feed upon the seed on and around my homunculus.
However, soon afterward, they started floundering
around the feeder. Then they started smacking into
windows. I realized that my spray-can tops had allowed
fermentation to occur, and so my juncoes and
chickadees were becoming intoxicated.

After I cleaned out the cups and gave the passerines
time to sober up, I took down my mannaquin, undressed
him, and cleaned and dried his clothes. These duds
were quite a sight by this time, after weeks in the
snow and rain. Then I managed to squeeze my teenaged
frame into the clothes, and hied outside, full of
hope.

I stood there for a long, long time. Maybe the birds
were too hung over, or maybe they saw through my ruse,
but none of them came anywhere near me. Were they
angry with me for having poisoned them? Were they
disappointed that I had taken away their booze? I will
never know.

Some day I must try the experiment again, only next
time, I think I will clean out the cups more often.

=====

Yours truly,

Gary Bletsch

near Lyman (Skagit County), Washington

garybletsch at yahoo.com


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