Okay, guys, I've been reading a lot of wimpy, unbirderlike talk here lately. For instance, Joe Meche says it would take a lot more than a Redwing to make him drive through the heavy traffic, and I've even seen people writing about getting aesthetic experiences, fer cryin' out loud! from watching birds. This is dangerous talk, people! A real birder, by definition, is somebody who enjoys--craves, even!--the experience of getting up at 3 in the morning, gulping some leftover coffee, and then running out to sit in a marsh for several hours just for the opportunity to tick off a bittern or a rail on his daily list. (What, you don't keep a daily list as well as your yearly, monthly, life, North America, state, and county lists? Shame on you!!) A real birder, people, has to put at least 20,000 miles on his/her car every year by chasing around to see every damn bird that pokes its head into the state. Don't you read all the reports about the economic impacts of birding, fer cryin' out loud!? Don't you realize that our economy depends upon all of us birders spending massive amounts on birding gear as well as keeping restaurants and motels in business? Your failure to help in this effort might just--I hesitate to say anything that might seem threatening, but we live in perilous times--might just get you called to the attention of Homeland Security, who might identify you as someone who does not really have the best interests of the United States of America at heart, so think about that!

Now turn off your computer and get out there and chase them birds!!

Burt Guttman
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, WA 98505 guttmanb at evergreen.edu
Home: 7334 Holmes Island Road S. E., Olympia, 98503